The breakdown of family relationships: Are sex problems or financial problems really the culprit?


Although partner affairs, sexual chaos and lack of trust in marriage usually cause problems in families, here one thing that many people overlook is financial infidelity. Don’t the husband’s money transactions with others without the wife’s knowledge and money transfers by the wife without the husband’s knowledge often lead to disruption of family life? Behind many divorces are dowry and money payments without the mutual knowledge of the partners. Divorce surveys by various organizations indicate that not getting along financially often leads to psychological problems and then to relationship estrangement. Yet the role of the huge factor of ‘financial infidelity’ is not usually brought up in the discussion of problems in marital relationships.


Hiding assets?

Does the husband have real estate transactions and secret debt payments without the knowledge of the wife? Does the wife have money transactions and secret bank accounts that her husband does not know about? The truth is that many people from overseas Indians to permanent residents have many secret accounts that are not known to their partners even after their death. Money in secret accounts, unknown even to one’s own children, after a sudden death, will most likely become inactive accounts and be of no use to anyone.

Secret Credit Cards

There are many people around us who live in luxury with credit cards, even if they don’t borrow directly from others. Time-to-time defaulting on repayments can be a heavy interest burden on the financial security of the family. The wife who makes demands again and again without knowing how much her husband’s salary is, the husband who lives a luxurious life to show off his salary is low, and the couple who spends beyond their income to show off to others are digging the financial foundation of the family.

You live off my money

Don’t the proud sayings of the husband or wife that you are living on my money also cause a rift in family relations? A situation where financial independence becomes selfishness often occurs in many single-income households.

Debt liability

Borrowing without notifying partners, disclosures that occur only when the debt is over one’s head, and mass suicides are not new in Kerala. Unexpected spending and a lazy attitude that things will just work out can make things more complicated after retirement.

Secret gifts to relatives

It is a wonder if family relations are not worsened by those who regularly give money to their brothers without the knowledge of the wife, and the wife who gives money to relatives without the knowledge of the husband.

Couples should realize that financial infidelity is more damaging than an affair. In many divorce cases, experts say, ‘financial deals’ play a bigger role than the issues presented. Even among those who share everything under one roof, not discussing financial decisions and expenses can lead to more problems. If one of the partners has the guts to change our spending habits if we don’t have cars, foreign vacations, eating out all the time, and can’t spare, not only the marital bond but wealth will grow unknowingly in the long run.